Empathy

I cried myself to sleep two nights this past week. I feel odd sharing this but I feel the need to express how I feel.

As I waited to fall asleep, my mind ran free and my heart began to hurt because I start to visualize and imagine situations so intensely.

The tragic passings of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and the lives of seven others have been a tough pill to swallow and digest since the news broke on Sunday. I can’t help but question my faith in times like these because the accident led to the loss of nine lives and countless years of heartache for family, friends, and even strangers. My tears intensify when I begin to even try to imagine what Vanessa Bryant and the other spouses who lost their partners must be feeling at this very moment. The inability to smell and touch their partners with intimacy. How big the bed must feel and will feel every night and morning they wake. The movie reels of memories that must be playing in their minds. The feeling of wishing they could turn back time. The feeling of wishing they could trade in everything they own to spend even just one minute with their loved ones again. The sadness and grief we feel about losing a hero and someone we don’t personally know is only the tiniest fraction of pain compared to the pain felt by immediate family and friends. 

I missed two exits on my way to work on Monday because I started to feel silly, almost angry at myself, for feeling hopeless, sad or hurt from previous breakups and relationships. I’ve cried countless nights for ex-lovers who didn’t want me. On Sunday, Vanessa Bryant lost the love of her life, the father of her children, and a child on the same day. My issues and pain will always be minuscule in comparison to Vanessa’s.

Our world has somehow created the phrase(s), “everything happens for a reason” or “the universe is telling you something” as a way to feel better about things that happen to us and to make reason with why certain things happened… and that’s simply not right. When we say “everything happens for a reason,” it’s validating the bad things, even bad actions of other people, and thus making those who are impacted feel as they deserved it. There’s absolutely no reason as to why the helicopter crashed, taking the lives of nine people. Just like how there is no good reason as to why children are starving around the world and why innocent people are being murdered every day. There is no good reason as to why we suddenly lose people we love. With that said, I’ve been praying for the families and friends that they never EVER question the accident in relation to their own worthiness and deservingness. I pray they never ever feel alone. I pray that all those who were impacted have the ability to overcome the pain with help from each other and the love of the world. 

Upon reflecting on Sunday’s tragedy, I’ve made several promises to myself: 

  1. Don’t get upset from breakups and never get upset about people who don’t want you. Focus on the people who do love you and want you in their lives.

  2. Be kind to strangers at all times because you never know what battles and heartache they are facing behind your encounter. Embody love by being there for people you don’t even know.

  3. Do more of what I love and discover more of what I love because life is short. Live a fulfilling life. Live with purpose.

  4. Resolve issues as they happen. Don’t hold grudges and don’t leave arguments unresolved because I never want to regret my last words.

  5. Live harder and love even harder for those who aren’t able to anymore.

  6. “If Vanessa can rise, so can I.” is what I will remember when my heart ever breaks again.

My heart aches for the others who passed. The media and most of the general public refer to the 7 others as “those involved” or “the less familiar families” which is true, but my heart aches for them intensely because we, you and me, are also less familiar families. We do not carry the fame and support like the Bryant family and neither do the rest of the families who were involved. So, I hope everyone can remember to support and send prayers to those families as much as we do for the Bryants.

Kobe Bryant is a superhuman who has done more good in his 41 years of living than what most people do collectively as a group in double that time frame. I’ve never been a huge basketball or sports fan. My love for Kobe came from my brother’s obsession with him since elementary school. My brother has always said when he had 3 kids, he would name them Kobe, Bean, and Bryant. Even if they were girls. I used to laugh at that but honestly, that’s not a bad idea and I may do it first because Kobe Bryant is someone who lived by example. We should all try to emulate his hard work ethics, determination, passion for dreams, philanthropy, kindness, and love for family.

Love,
Glo